My Mother's Wisdom...

Mom in 2007, age 81

I think about my mom everyday.  She taught many simple, straight forward lessons to my brother, my sister and me.  She had four core principles regarding money.

1)Always pay your tithe.  No matter how small the account in your bank, a Christian can not afford not to tithe.  Tithing is an act of love, because all we have comes from God.  And the Bible says God will bless us if we tithe.  She told me many times, which I learned to be true, "It is amazing how much you can do on 90%, when you give 10% to God."

2) Always pay your bills on time.  This is simple common sense.  But it helps to have a systematic process for doing this.  Most of my parent's bills came in at the first of the month. In our kitchen was a two-drawer, tan filing cabinet. Using hanging files and folders, Mom organised the bills alphabetically.  At the first of the month she sat down, wrote out cheques for each bill, and then made sure each envelop was stamped.  Remember--on-line banking didn't exist until the 1990's.  She had a ledger card with each bill listed on it, with a column for each month.  When she had paid the bill, she put a tick in the corresponding month column.  She would tear off the customer copy of the billing, write the cheque number on it, as well as the date she paid the bill and place it in the correct section of the bill folder.  Because she had a systematic way of paying the bills, she never missed one and she never had to pay a penalty. 

An example of her bill-paying card

3) Always balance your cheque book to the penny each month.  Some of my younger friends will have no idea as to what a cheque book is.  For those of us who grew up with them, or saw our parents use them, each month a statement from the bank arrived.  On the statement was a list of cheques which had been cleared, which included the amounts for which they had been written.  The purpose of the statement was to inform the account owner/user about the activity of the account.  In order to know if it was accurate (sometimes mistakes are made), Mom made a point of reconcilling her ledger with the statement.  I will write an exact process for balancing a cheque book another time.  When we opened my first chequing account, she sat down with me and taught me to reconcile to the penny!  It kept me from going overdrawn and having to pay penalties.  This principle is also biblical.  
"Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds; Proverbs 27:23  Now some people might not get the correlation between balancing a cheque book and knowing the state of your flocks.  The bottom line is, know exactly what you have so that you can prepare for the future.  If you don't know what resources you have, you can end up in serious financial trouble.
4)  Delayed gratification, in other words, if you don't have the money for it, don't buy it! By waiting until you have saved up the cash for something (apart from a house), it gives you time to really think about how seriously you want that item.  For example, as a child I wanted to buy a Ken doll.  The first one I received for Christmas had a pull string to make it talk.  But I wanted another Ken doll--as I had two female dolls.  I saved up my allowance for several weeks until I had enough to buy the second Ken doll.  By working for the money, saving the cash and waiting I had time to decide if I truly wanted the doll, or maybe a record album instead.  I bought the doll.  And I was protective of this toy, because I had invested time, money and desire into acquiring it.  This meant I appreciated it.

Those four principles have guided me all my life.   John and I sit down and review our pay each month, make sure all our financial commitments are covered and then decided what to do with the rest.  

I priase the Lord for giving me such a wise mother.

Serving Jesus, Author of our faith,

"Lady Helene"  

Windows too high...

           In our flat the windows are in sets of three, like a triptych.  The centre window is short, which is topped by a smaller, rectangular window that opens by being pushed out to open.  Being a short person, this creates a challenge for me.  “Maverick” is tall, and uses his long arms to push those windows out as far as he can, in the kitchen and bathroom anyway. 

          Wide open windows during the summer months it isn’t an issue, as it is great to have the air moving through.  But in the winter all I want to do is keep in as much heat as possible.  One would think that windows would remain shut from November to late March or early April.  Not so, in Great Britain it isn’t uncommon for tenants to open windows to let out gas fumes from propane sourced heaters. 

Our building is over 60 years old; the damp now permeates through cracks and the brick.  Even with exhaust fans in our bathroom and kitchen, moisture collects on the windows.  “Maverick” opens the window and leaves it open in order for the steam from the shower to escape.

 Now think about camping in January in the Northern Hemisphere—cold!  That's how it sometimes feels in this flat with the outside air breathing into the opened windows.  But when “Maverick” has gone to work, it is up to me to close the windows.  Without some sort of extension, it is impossible for me to reach the windows in the bathroom and kitchen.  Both are over sinks, which prevent reaching up on tippy-toe from being effective.  Even with my blue step-stool, I can’t reach.  And climbing is just too dangerous. 

One day I stood in the kitchen, thinking about possible solutions.  I turned and spied the humble wooden spoon with a hole in the middle of the spoon’s bowl.  The brain synapses fired.  The size of the spoon was perfect to go over the window handle, its length sufficient to extend far enough to reach the handle and pull the window closed.   I still needed the blue step-stool to get high enough, but the spoon worked.  And I left the spoon for future use.

Serving Jesus, Author of out faith,

“Lady Helene”

Favourite Oatmeal Cookies

          Since I was a child, this has been my favourite oatmeal cookie recipe.  When I asked my mom where she got the recipe, she told me she had gotten it from my aunt, (her brother’s wife.) 

          The original recipe calls for “fat”.  In the US, most people would use Crisco.  When I moved to the UK, I had to figure out what “Crisco” was—as “Crisco” was the brand name.  www.crisco.com   In 1997 I was in Scotland, with access to the internet—but that was mostly for e-mail.  Therefore looking on Google wasn’t really an option.  (Had Google been introduced in 1997?!)  Anyway, I knew that “Crisco” was called shortening in the US, and that it was an all-vegetable product.  After standing in front of the dairy case in a local grocery, I concluded that American “Shortening” was what the British call vegetable fat.  (Vegetables have fat??!!)  Okay…the British equivalent is “Trex”.  Trex

          All the above to say, I have used shortening/vegetable fat, margarine, dairy spread and butter to make these cookies.  If you want the best taste, use butter!

          The original recipe lists only raisins as “additional” ingredient.  However, Mom used to substitute chocolate chips for raisins.  As I started making them, I added chocolate chips AND raisins.  I suppose you could add chocolate covered raisins as a shortcut. 

          The recipe does call for chopped nuts, which can be left out if they are not available or someone has allergies.

          These cookies freeze really well, so you can make a double batch and allow yourself to keep them on hand more easily. 

She's Gone Home to Jesus

November 2007, age 81

                On Thursday, 16^th May 2013 I wrote a blog entry regarding my Mom; not knowing just how soon she would be going on to our heavenly home.  Mom passed away at Manatee Memorial Hospital on Wednesday, 29^th May—just two days shy of her 87^th birthday.  She had fought the fight of faith over the years with honesty, courage and patience.  That honesty included her fears, her doubts, the questions she had.  Did she miss “God opportunities”?  Yet, Mom’s trust in God’s never ending love was unshakeable.

                To lose someone who was a life-long emotional and spiritual mooring point is, at first, shocking.  As the numbness begins to subside, feeling disorientated is natural.  No one will ever give the same kind of insight, correction and/or encouragement as my Mother gave to me.  Although I am close to my sister, the way in which she knows me is different from how my mother knew and loved me. 

                Born 31^st May 1926, “Bea” grew up in Greene County Indiana.  Greene County is primarily a farming area.  Mom was brought up in town, until she was about sixteen, when they moved out to the farm. 

                Mom had started school, but fell ill with double pneumonia when she was about seven or eight years old.  She nearly died, and surprised her family by recovering.  She missed so much school, she had to repeat the second grade.  Being a small city, there were only about 35 people in her class.  They all attended Bloomfield School, and graduated in 1946. 

                One of Mom’s first jobs was working on an assembly line at RCA in Bloomington.  Eventually, she got a job at Rural Electric Membership Cooperative.  There she met Catherine L, who was instrumental in introducing Mom to the man who became her husband, and my father.

                Dad and Mom married 1^st March 1958.  Daddy was a Staff-Sergeant in the US Air Force.  Stationed in Kansas, Daddy drove to Indiana on a weekend pass and married Mom at the minister’s home.  After the wedding, they drove to Illinois, to his mother’s home.  The following day they drove back to Kansas. 

                Both of them in their 30’s, and having been married and divorced before, they were not hesitant to have children.   So, when Mom became pregnant immediately, not only was Daddy pleased, but “Dwayne” was also.  “Dwayne” had been born 19^th August  1953, the son of her first husband. 

                Within weeks of arriving in Kansas, Daddy finished one training programme and was sent on to Texas.   That training school was also about three months long—and when it ended in mid November, he and the family were sent to California.  Mom was eight-and-a-half months pregnant with me. 

                Being weary from the stress of moving, she started spotting blood.  Travelling in tandem with another couple, they stopped in Bakersfield.  The other couple had family in Bakersfield.  So they took Mom to the hospital.  On 19^th November 1958, I was born about two weeks early in the Catholic hospital.  Daddy went on to Travis Air Force Base, coming back a week later to get Mom.

                My sister, “Sissy” was born sixteen months later on 16^th March 1960. 

                We moved several times between 1958 and 1969, the years my Daddy served in the US Air Force.  At the heart of the home, dealing with the challenges of moving, resettling and keeping us together as a family was Mom. 

                Our family moved to Indiana in January 1970.  Daddy had found a job, working as a barber. Mom first worked in a child care centre.  Then she opened one in her home, with about six children.  Although it was work Mom enjoyed, our family had no health insurance.  This led to Mom working as a nurses’ aid at the local hospital.

                As a child, Mom had damaged her right ankle.  Because of cut ligaments, she couldn’t work long hours on her feet.  This was a disappointment for Mom as she really enjoyed the work.  However, this created an opportunity.

                Indiana Business College provided Mom with an Associate’s degree in bookkeeping, which she enjoyed.  They also helped her find employment.  So, Mom went to work in Indianapolis, commuting by car pool.  Although she wanted to be a home-maker and stay at home until her children finished school, she was willing to keep her mind and heart open.  She enjoyed her work, glad she could find work that provided the needed health insurance coverage for the family.

                Mom retired from work in 1991, at the age of 65.  She looked after my Dad until he developed Alzheimer ’s disease and had to be put into a nursing home.    Although she legally divorced my Dad in 1994, she was faithful to see him at the care facility.  Love doesn’t die simply because of a piece of paper.  Daddy died in 1996.  It was a very difficult time.

                In 1997, after a routine mammogram, the doctor decided to perform an aspiration.  This revealed cancer cells.  So, she was immediately wheeled up to surgery.  The tumour was about the size of an eraser (rubber) on the end of a pencil.  Mom was treated with a prescription and a series of radiation treatments.  After her appointments we’d drive around country back roads, maybe have a meal out.  She was clear of cancer for the rest of her life.

                Mom found a part-time job through the Green Thumb organisation.  She worked as a receptionist about four-hours a day at a school right across the road from the apartment building she lived in.  She also attended church each week. 

                In 2003 I married The Maverick and moved to England.  “Sissy” moved Mom into her home.  In August 2003, they moved to Florida.  Mom had wanted to live in Florida for many years.  In 2006, Mom celebrated her 80^th birthday.  I was so glad to be in Florida to celebrate with her.

                Mom accepted her many challenges with grace and the peace that God provides for us.  She is missed by her son and two daughters, and five grandchildren. 

               

Cornbread

Cornbread

            Mom took two eggs from the refrigerator and walked over to the counter by the sink.  She cracked open the eggs, dropping them into her medium sized, grey cooking crock.  She scrambled the eggs.  Those mixed, she opened the kitchen cupboard and took out the sugar, baking powder and salt.  The green Tupperware® measuring spoons were dipped into the dry ingredients one-by-one and added to the mixture.  Mom walked to the white metal cupboard, and took out the corn meal and flour containers.  After setting them on the work-top, she opened the flour, shoved her clean metal spoon into the bag and dipped out flour into the mixing bowl.  The wooden spoon was run around the side of the bowl, making sure all the flour was thoroughly stirred in.  The cornmeal was subjected to the same treatment as the flour.  Only this time, Mom used twice as much cornmeal as she did flour.  She took a bottle of corn oil from the cupboard and added several spoons of the yellow liquid last.  Once the mixture was smooth, Mom poured it into the oft used rectangle-shaped baking pan and then shoved this family favorite into the oven.  Mom had just made cornbread for dinner. 

From the time of my first memories, cornbread has been a part of our family menu.  At least once a month Mom would cook up a pot of beans and baked cornbread to go with it. 

            It is understood in America that cornbread is a Southern food.  And it is also a comfort food.  Cornbread is eaten with bean soup, chili soup, clam chowder and fried chicken and greens.  Cornbread batter is also dropped into hot grease and fried, and called Hush Puppies, to be eaten with fish and fried potatoes.

            My Grandma used to eat cold, leftover cornbread with a glass of buttermilk.  As I’ve gotten older, I experimented with leftover cornbread.  We used to wrap it in aluminum foil and re-heat it the oven.  With the advent of the microwave the crumbly, golden quick bread was placed in a plastic sandwich bag and “zapped” for a few seconds.  One day I thought, “I bet I could fry this like ‘mush’.”  So I sliced the cornbread open, spread a small amount of butter on it and dropped it in a hot skillet.  I was well pleased with the result.  I’ve also found that it can be toasted in a toaster oven.

            In the 1980’s I came to the United Kingdom for a Discipleship Training School in West Sussex, England.  In a conversation I mentioned cornbread.  The British looked at me perplexed. “What’s cornbread?”  The same question was posed to me in the late 1990’s when I was living and working Scotland. 

To answer that question, I had to translate the name of the ingredients from American to English.  Corn meal is referred to as maize meal.  Finding those ingredients in British grocery stores was yet another challenge.  For instance, not every grocery store sells buttermilk.  When I did find the buttermilk, it was sold in 284 ml cartons—about 10 fluid ounces.  Once I had the ingredients I wrote home to Mom for the recipe.  Mom knew the recipe by heart, and still makes it with to this day without consulting her cookbook. 

I find this amazing, as Mom’s sight is impaired by macular degeneration.  She might need a little help making sure she which bag is flour and which bag is cornmeal.  And because she is now diabetic, she uses liquid sugar substitute instead of sugar.  But the result is always the same wonderful result. 

I thought cornbread was exclusively an American food.  I discovered in 2001 that it isn’t.  On John’s first trip to America, Mom baked cornbread. 

“Yummy!  Mielie brood! (pronounced, meal-lee broat.)”  John’s responded.   He proceeded to slice open his piece of bread, spread on the margarine and added SALT-AND-PEPPER!”  Mom and looked at each other with that, “Did you SEE that?”  I decided I had to try cornbread with salt-and-pepper as well.  John was equally shocked to see Mom and I apply apple butter on our cornbread—especially since John had never heard of, much less eaten, apple butter.  This was our first experience in adapting into a cross-cultural family. 

Mom’s Basic Cornbread Recipe

2 eggs

2 teaspoons sugar

2 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 ¾ cup milk or buttermilk

¾ cup flour

1 ½ cups corn meal

5 Tablespoons cooking oil

Beat the eggs.  Add the ingredients and mix thoroughly.  Pour into a baking pan which has been greased and floured.  Bake at 350°F for 35 to 40 minutes.

My variation

2 eggs

2 teaspoons sugar or sugar substitute

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup milk

¾ cup of plain low-fat yogurt

¾ cup whole wheat

¾ cup oatmeal

¾ cup cornmeal

5 Tablespoons cooking oil

Beat the eggs.  Add the rest of the ingredients and mix thoroughly.  Pour into a baking pan which has been greased and floured.  Bake at 350°F for 40 to 50 minutes.  The yogurt makes the mixture wetter than basic milk.  And because of the oatmeal holding moisture longer than the flour and cornmeal, it takes longer to bake.  Bake until the bread is dark brown around the top edges and a knife comes out clean when stuck in the middle.  This has a richer, nuttier flavor than the basic recipe.  I like both.

From a Friend

½ cup butter

½ cup buttermilk (or low fat yogurt)

3 Tablespoon milk

1 large egg

1 ½ cups sifted flour

½ cup sugar or sugar substitute

½ cup corn meal

1 Tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

Preheat the over to 325ºF.  Melt the butter.  Combine with milk, buttermilk and egg.  Sift together the dry ingredients.  Add to the buttermilk mixture and stir until just blended.  Do not stir any longer!  Pour into buttered 10” x 7” baking dish.  Bake for 35 – 45 minutes until golden and firm.

My friend Beth made a note that she baked the cornbread 35 – 40 minutes before it got too dark.  Beth found this recipe in a magazine after seeing it on a popular television show. 

This cornbread is sweet and has a cake-like texture.