My Mother's Wisdom...

Mom in 2007, age 81

I think about my mom everyday.  She taught many simple, straight forward lessons to my brother, my sister and me.  She had four core principles regarding money.

1)Always pay your tithe.  No matter how small the account in your bank, a Christian can not afford not to tithe.  Tithing is an act of love, because all we have comes from God.  And the Bible says God will bless us if we tithe.  She told me many times, which I learned to be true, "It is amazing how much you can do on 90%, when you give 10% to God."

2) Always pay your bills on time.  This is simple common sense.  But it helps to have a systematic process for doing this.  Most of my parent's bills came in at the first of the month. In our kitchen was a two-drawer, tan filing cabinet. Using hanging files and folders, Mom organised the bills alphabetically.  At the first of the month she sat down, wrote out cheques for each bill, and then made sure each envelop was stamped.  Remember--on-line banking didn't exist until the 1990's.  She had a ledger card with each bill listed on it, with a column for each month.  When she had paid the bill, she put a tick in the corresponding month column.  She would tear off the customer copy of the billing, write the cheque number on it, as well as the date she paid the bill and place it in the correct section of the bill folder.  Because she had a systematic way of paying the bills, she never missed one and she never had to pay a penalty. 

An example of her bill-paying card

3) Always balance your cheque book to the penny each month.  Some of my younger friends will have no idea as to what a cheque book is.  For those of us who grew up with them, or saw our parents use them, each month a statement from the bank arrived.  On the statement was a list of cheques which had been cleared, which included the amounts for which they had been written.  The purpose of the statement was to inform the account owner/user about the activity of the account.  In order to know if it was accurate (sometimes mistakes are made), Mom made a point of reconcilling her ledger with the statement.  I will write an exact process for balancing a cheque book another time.  When we opened my first chequing account, she sat down with me and taught me to reconcile to the penny!  It kept me from going overdrawn and having to pay penalties.  This principle is also biblical.  
"Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds; Proverbs 27:23  Now some people might not get the correlation between balancing a cheque book and knowing the state of your flocks.  The bottom line is, know exactly what you have so that you can prepare for the future.  If you don't know what resources you have, you can end up in serious financial trouble.
4)  Delayed gratification, in other words, if you don't have the money for it, don't buy it! By waiting until you have saved up the cash for something (apart from a house), it gives you time to really think about how seriously you want that item.  For example, as a child I wanted to buy a Ken doll.  The first one I received for Christmas had a pull string to make it talk.  But I wanted another Ken doll--as I had two female dolls.  I saved up my allowance for several weeks until I had enough to buy the second Ken doll.  By working for the money, saving the cash and waiting I had time to decide if I truly wanted the doll, or maybe a record album instead.  I bought the doll.  And I was protective of this toy, because I had invested time, money and desire into acquiring it.  This meant I appreciated it.

Those four principles have guided me all my life.   John and I sit down and review our pay each month, make sure all our financial commitments are covered and then decided what to do with the rest.  

I priase the Lord for giving me such a wise mother.

Serving Jesus, Author of our faith,

"Lady Helene"  

She's Gone Home to Jesus

November 2007, age 81

                On Thursday, 16^th May 2013 I wrote a blog entry regarding my Mom; not knowing just how soon she would be going on to our heavenly home.  Mom passed away at Manatee Memorial Hospital on Wednesday, 29^th May—just two days shy of her 87^th birthday.  She had fought the fight of faith over the years with honesty, courage and patience.  That honesty included her fears, her doubts, the questions she had.  Did she miss “God opportunities”?  Yet, Mom’s trust in God’s never ending love was unshakeable.

                To lose someone who was a life-long emotional and spiritual mooring point is, at first, shocking.  As the numbness begins to subside, feeling disorientated is natural.  No one will ever give the same kind of insight, correction and/or encouragement as my Mother gave to me.  Although I am close to my sister, the way in which she knows me is different from how my mother knew and loved me. 

                Born 31^st May 1926, “Bea” grew up in Greene County Indiana.  Greene County is primarily a farming area.  Mom was brought up in town, until she was about sixteen, when they moved out to the farm. 

                Mom had started school, but fell ill with double pneumonia when she was about seven or eight years old.  She nearly died, and surprised her family by recovering.  She missed so much school, she had to repeat the second grade.  Being a small city, there were only about 35 people in her class.  They all attended Bloomfield School, and graduated in 1946. 

                One of Mom’s first jobs was working on an assembly line at RCA in Bloomington.  Eventually, she got a job at Rural Electric Membership Cooperative.  There she met Catherine L, who was instrumental in introducing Mom to the man who became her husband, and my father.

                Dad and Mom married 1^st March 1958.  Daddy was a Staff-Sergeant in the US Air Force.  Stationed in Kansas, Daddy drove to Indiana on a weekend pass and married Mom at the minister’s home.  After the wedding, they drove to Illinois, to his mother’s home.  The following day they drove back to Kansas. 

                Both of them in their 30’s, and having been married and divorced before, they were not hesitant to have children.   So, when Mom became pregnant immediately, not only was Daddy pleased, but “Dwayne” was also.  “Dwayne” had been born 19^th August  1953, the son of her first husband. 

                Within weeks of arriving in Kansas, Daddy finished one training programme and was sent on to Texas.   That training school was also about three months long—and when it ended in mid November, he and the family were sent to California.  Mom was eight-and-a-half months pregnant with me. 

                Being weary from the stress of moving, she started spotting blood.  Travelling in tandem with another couple, they stopped in Bakersfield.  The other couple had family in Bakersfield.  So they took Mom to the hospital.  On 19^th November 1958, I was born about two weeks early in the Catholic hospital.  Daddy went on to Travis Air Force Base, coming back a week later to get Mom.

                My sister, “Sissy” was born sixteen months later on 16^th March 1960. 

                We moved several times between 1958 and 1969, the years my Daddy served in the US Air Force.  At the heart of the home, dealing with the challenges of moving, resettling and keeping us together as a family was Mom. 

                Our family moved to Indiana in January 1970.  Daddy had found a job, working as a barber. Mom first worked in a child care centre.  Then she opened one in her home, with about six children.  Although it was work Mom enjoyed, our family had no health insurance.  This led to Mom working as a nurses’ aid at the local hospital.

                As a child, Mom had damaged her right ankle.  Because of cut ligaments, she couldn’t work long hours on her feet.  This was a disappointment for Mom as she really enjoyed the work.  However, this created an opportunity.

                Indiana Business College provided Mom with an Associate’s degree in bookkeeping, which she enjoyed.  They also helped her find employment.  So, Mom went to work in Indianapolis, commuting by car pool.  Although she wanted to be a home-maker and stay at home until her children finished school, she was willing to keep her mind and heart open.  She enjoyed her work, glad she could find work that provided the needed health insurance coverage for the family.

                Mom retired from work in 1991, at the age of 65.  She looked after my Dad until he developed Alzheimer ’s disease and had to be put into a nursing home.    Although she legally divorced my Dad in 1994, she was faithful to see him at the care facility.  Love doesn’t die simply because of a piece of paper.  Daddy died in 1996.  It was a very difficult time.

                In 1997, after a routine mammogram, the doctor decided to perform an aspiration.  This revealed cancer cells.  So, she was immediately wheeled up to surgery.  The tumour was about the size of an eraser (rubber) on the end of a pencil.  Mom was treated with a prescription and a series of radiation treatments.  After her appointments we’d drive around country back roads, maybe have a meal out.  She was clear of cancer for the rest of her life.

                Mom found a part-time job through the Green Thumb organisation.  She worked as a receptionist about four-hours a day at a school right across the road from the apartment building she lived in.  She also attended church each week. 

                In 2003 I married The Maverick and moved to England.  “Sissy” moved Mom into her home.  In August 2003, they moved to Florida.  Mom had wanted to live in Florida for many years.  In 2006, Mom celebrated her 80^th birthday.  I was so glad to be in Florida to celebrate with her.

                Mom accepted her many challenges with grace and the peace that God provides for us.  She is missed by her son and two daughters, and five grandchildren.